(2:49 PM) Kevin: is this lungfish?
(2:49 PM) Ron: yes
(2:50 PM) Kevin: Mungfish
(2:50 PM) Ron: take a sip from my cock spout
(2:51 PM) Kevin: Cock spout
(2:51 PM) Kevin: Pretty special
(2:51 PM) Kevin: This is my solo album.
(2:52 PM) Ron: are you trying to say that that is the name of your solo album?
(2:52 PM) Kevin: No, I was saying that whatever we're listening to right now is my solo album
(2:53 PM) Kevin: The album is called “Cock Spout”
(2:53 PM) Kevin: maybe you've heard of it.
(2:53 PM) Ron: you are wrong - because the name of your solo album is “Drinkin' Cum Curds in Da Springz”
(3:03 PM) Ron: I have work to do but I don't want to do it
(3:03 PM) Kevin: Cum Curdz
(3:03 PM) Kevin: MC Cum Curdz and DJ ShitSculpture
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Lunch
(11:25 AM) Kevin: I want food in my mouth
(11:25 AM) Kevin: cuz I have a hunger in my gut
(11:25 AM) Ron: too early
(11:25 AM) Kevin: I know.
(11:25 AM) Ron: you need to eat a balanced breakfast
(11:25 AM) Kevin: I didn't eat breakfast
(11:26 AM) Ron: don't piss me off
(11:26 AM) Kevin: I didn't eat breakfast expressly to piss you off
(11:26 AM) Ron: you've suceeded
(11:25 AM) Kevin: cuz I have a hunger in my gut
(11:25 AM) Ron: too early
(11:25 AM) Kevin: I know.
(11:25 AM) Ron: you need to eat a balanced breakfast
(11:25 AM) Kevin: I didn't eat breakfast
(11:26 AM) Ron: don't piss me off
(11:26 AM) Kevin: I didn't eat breakfast expressly to piss you off
(11:26 AM) Ron: you've suceeded
Japan's Prime Minister
(11:33 AM) Kevin: Did you know that two Japanese prime ministers have retired in the past year?
(11:33 AM) Kevin: Shit be crazy over there
(11:34 AM) Ron: no - what's up?
(11:34 AM) Kevin: One retired because he had diarrhea
(11:34 AM) Kevin: no lie
(11:34 AM) Ron: that's wild
(11:34 AM) Ron: that's very japanese
(11:34 AM) Kevin: the other retired because he thought congress was making his job impossible
(11:34 AM) Ron: huh - that's pussy talk
(11:35 AM) Ron: tough it out samuri
(11:33 AM) Kevin: Shit be crazy over there
(11:34 AM) Ron: no - what's up?
(11:34 AM) Kevin: One retired because he had diarrhea
(11:34 AM) Kevin: no lie
(11:34 AM) Ron: that's wild
(11:34 AM) Ron: that's very japanese
(11:34 AM) Kevin: the other retired because he thought congress was making his job impossible
(11:34 AM) Ron: huh - that's pussy talk
(11:35 AM) Ron: tough it out samuri
Getting a Drink
(1:58 PM) Kevin: Janine wants to get a drink @ 10:00
(1:58 PM) Kevin: wanna do it
(1:58 PM) Kevin: with yr dick out
(1:58 PM) Ron: where?
(1:58 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Ron: I could more likely do 10:30. . .
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Wherever. A dude doesn't give a flying dickpiss
(1:59 PM) Kevin: 10:30!!!!
(1:59 PM) Ron: at the Levee
(1:59 PM) Kevin: What do you think this is!
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Some kind of cock party!?
(1:59 PM) Ron: jesus
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(2:02 PM) Kevin: Were you born at the dumdum store
(2:04 PM) Ron: stop sucking a stupid tit
(2:04 PM) Kevin: whoa, hurtful
(2:05 PM) Ron: I would like you to DJ in the main tank of the Boston Aquarium. No oxygen, no turntables, no records. Just a shark and your naked body until there is nothing left.
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Cruel but fair
(1:58 PM) Kevin: wanna do it
(1:58 PM) Kevin: with yr dick out
(1:58 PM) Ron: where?
(1:58 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Ron: I could more likely do 10:30. . .
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Wherever. A dude doesn't give a flying dickpiss
(1:59 PM) Kevin: 10:30!!!!
(1:59 PM) Ron: at the Levee
(1:59 PM) Kevin: What do you think this is!
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Some kind of cock party!?
(1:59 PM) Ron: jesus
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(1:59 PM) Kevin: flailing all over my delighted and surprised testicles
(2:02 PM) Kevin: Were you born at the dumdum store
(2:04 PM) Ron: stop sucking a stupid tit
(2:04 PM) Kevin: whoa, hurtful
(2:05 PM) Ron: I would like you to DJ in the main tank of the Boston Aquarium. No oxygen, no turntables, no records. Just a shark and your naked body until there is nothing left.
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Cruel but fair
Carob
(4:23 PM) Kevin: you'll find that special someone
(4:23 PM) Kevin: crawling around in the muck
(4:23 PM) Kevin: just waiting for your gentle hand
(4:24 PM) Ron: anger nuggets with soy milk and dried cranberries
(4:25 PM) Kevin: That sounds healthy
(4:25 PM) Kevin: And carob
(4:25 PM) Kevin: fucking only dumbass vegans would be fooled even for a second into believing that Carob is delicious
(4:25 PM) Kevin: it tastes like the bottom of my cock
(4:25 PM) Ron: that's totally inappropriate
(4:25 PM) Kevin: after it's been soaking in hydrochloric acid
(4:23 PM) Kevin: crawling around in the muck
(4:23 PM) Kevin: just waiting for your gentle hand
(4:24 PM) Ron: anger nuggets with soy milk and dried cranberries
(4:25 PM) Kevin: That sounds healthy
(4:25 PM) Kevin: And carob
(4:25 PM) Kevin: fucking only dumbass vegans would be fooled even for a second into believing that Carob is delicious
(4:25 PM) Kevin: it tastes like the bottom of my cock
(4:25 PM) Ron: that's totally inappropriate
(4:25 PM) Kevin: after it's been soaking in hydrochloric acid
Vice President
(11:58 AM) Ron: what would you do if you were chosen as the VP
(11:58 AM) Ron: how much fun would you have
(11:59 AM) Kevin: I would hate it
(11:59 AM) Ron: yeah but you'd get to hang in DC - chilling on the potomac
(12:00 PM) Kevin: I would deliver all of my speeches from a canoe
(12:00 PM) Kevin: the audience would have to run along the river to keep up
(12:00 PM) Ron: you wouldn't be able to stand in it though
(12:01 PM) Ron: because you would capsize
(12:01 PM) Ron: that could be pretty funny though
(12:01 PM) Ron: the slapstick candidate
(12:01 PM) Kevin: This would be my catch phrase:
(12:01 PM) Kevin: “Hey guys! I'm pooping right now!”
(12:01 PM) Ron: so stupid
(12:01 PM) Ron: an embarassment
(11:58 AM) Ron: how much fun would you have
(11:59 AM) Kevin: I would hate it
(11:59 AM) Ron: yeah but you'd get to hang in DC - chilling on the potomac
(12:00 PM) Kevin: I would deliver all of my speeches from a canoe
(12:00 PM) Kevin: the audience would have to run along the river to keep up
(12:00 PM) Ron: you wouldn't be able to stand in it though
(12:01 PM) Ron: because you would capsize
(12:01 PM) Ron: that could be pretty funny though
(12:01 PM) Ron: the slapstick candidate
(12:01 PM) Kevin: This would be my catch phrase:
(12:01 PM) Kevin: “Hey guys! I'm pooping right now!”
(12:01 PM) Ron: so stupid
(12:01 PM) Ron: an embarassment
Johnny Mathis
(5:20 PM) Ron: what is this shit?
(5:20 PM) Ron: kidding - it sounds good
(5:20 PM) Kevin: Johnny Mathis
(5:20 PM) Ron: this isn't your normal jam
(5:20 PM) Kevin: Trying a change of pace
(5:20 PM) Ron: you don't like sentimental stuff
(5:20 PM) Kevin: not enjoying it though
(5:21 PM) Ron: will throw you off a double decker bus into the east river later
(5:21 PM) Kevin: Will invite you to a police beating in 15 minutes
(5:20 PM) Ron: kidding - it sounds good
(5:20 PM) Kevin: Johnny Mathis
(5:20 PM) Ron: this isn't your normal jam
(5:20 PM) Kevin: Trying a change of pace
(5:20 PM) Ron: you don't like sentimental stuff
(5:20 PM) Kevin: not enjoying it though
(5:21 PM) Ron: will throw you off a double decker bus into the east river later
(5:21 PM) Kevin: Will invite you to a police beating in 15 minutes
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Ron Making Jazz Trumpet Sounds with His Mouth
(3:58 PM) Kevin: I was shocked at how annoying that was
(3:59 PM) Kevin: Like my whole body shook with rage
(3:59 PM) Ron: I am so annoyed by the jazz
(3:59 PM) Kevin: It was some shit that would have made me go nuts if it were Benito doing it
(3:59 PM) Ron: I guess I was trying to do something more annoying
(3:59 PM) Kevin: I wanted to stab you
(3:59 PM) Ron: I've accomplished my dream
(3:59 PM) Kevin: Like literally walk up and stab you in the shoulder with a knife
(3:59 PM) Ron: to make you hate me as much as Benito
(3:59 PM) Ron: WHAT THE FUCK
(4:00 PM) Ron: WE ARE ABOUT TO GO ULTIMATE FIGHTING
(4:01 PM) Kevin: It was just a moment
(4:01 PM) Kevin: A fleeting moment of white hot rage
(4:02 PM) Kevin: And in that moment
(4:02 PM) Kevin: I would have killed you, given the opportunity
(4:02 PM) Ron: FUCK THAT
(4:02 PM) Ron: seriously mad
(4:02 PM) Ron: for real
(4:02 PM) Ron: not just joke mad
(4:02 PM) Ron: If we were in prison I would rape you for saying that
(3:59 PM) Kevin: Like my whole body shook with rage
(3:59 PM) Ron: I am so annoyed by the jazz
(3:59 PM) Kevin: It was some shit that would have made me go nuts if it were Benito doing it
(3:59 PM) Ron: I guess I was trying to do something more annoying
(3:59 PM) Kevin: I wanted to stab you
(3:59 PM) Ron: I've accomplished my dream
(3:59 PM) Kevin: Like literally walk up and stab you in the shoulder with a knife
(3:59 PM) Ron: to make you hate me as much as Benito
(3:59 PM) Ron: WHAT THE FUCK
(4:00 PM) Ron: WE ARE ABOUT TO GO ULTIMATE FIGHTING
(4:01 PM) Kevin: It was just a moment
(4:01 PM) Kevin: A fleeting moment of white hot rage
(4:02 PM) Kevin: And in that moment
(4:02 PM) Kevin: I would have killed you, given the opportunity
(4:02 PM) Ron: FUCK THAT
(4:02 PM) Ron: seriously mad
(4:02 PM) Ron: for real
(4:02 PM) Ron: not just joke mad
(4:02 PM) Ron: If we were in prison I would rape you for saying that
Hungry
(12:27 PM) Ron: OK now I'm hungry
(12:27 PM) Ron: what are you going to do about it
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Snatch a bite of a jerry curl sausage
(12:28 PM) Kevin: get whiplash on some delicious hairy treats
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Ride that phony pony all the way to satiation
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Make waffles with my dick
(12:38 PM) Kevin: Decided what I will eat
(12:38 PM) Ron: what
(12:38 PM) Kevin: A dick
(12:38 PM) Ron: stupid
(12:39 PM) Ron: not enough calories
(12:39 PM) Kevin: Too small to be very nourishing
(12:27 PM) Ron: what are you going to do about it
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Snatch a bite of a jerry curl sausage
(12:28 PM) Kevin: get whiplash on some delicious hairy treats
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Ride that phony pony all the way to satiation
(12:28 PM) Kevin: Make waffles with my dick
(12:38 PM) Kevin: Decided what I will eat
(12:38 PM) Ron: what
(12:38 PM) Kevin: A dick
(12:38 PM) Ron: stupid
(12:39 PM) Ron: not enough calories
(12:39 PM) Kevin: Too small to be very nourishing
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hobbit Names
(2:33 PM) Kevin: http://chriswetherell.com/hobbit/
(2:33 PM) Kevin: Mine is Bulbo Sandybanks of Frogmorton
(2:33 PM) Ron: so fucked
(2:34 PM) Kevin: Ooh! You're Olo Peatfingers of Brockenborings
(2:34 PM) Ron: Ferdirand Tighfield of Tookbank
(2:34 PM) Ron: that's me
(2:36 PM) Ron: it should be tightfield
(2:36 PM) Ron: instead of tighfield
(2:36 PM) Kevin: It should be Worthington Douchfield of Cocknuzzle Hills
(2:37 PM) Kevin: Can you handle that?
(2:37 PM) Ron: nope
(2:37 PM) Ron: too funny
(2:33 PM) Kevin: Mine is Bulbo Sandybanks of Frogmorton
(2:33 PM) Ron: so fucked
(2:34 PM) Kevin: Ooh! You're Olo Peatfingers of Brockenborings
(2:34 PM) Ron: Ferdirand Tighfield of Tookbank
(2:34 PM) Ron: that's me
(2:36 PM) Ron: it should be tightfield
(2:36 PM) Ron: instead of tighfield
(2:36 PM) Kevin: It should be Worthington Douchfield of Cocknuzzle Hills
(2:37 PM) Kevin: Can you handle that?
(2:37 PM) Ron: nope
(2:37 PM) Ron: too funny
Friday, December 12, 2008
Blur + Willy Wonka
(1:54 PM) Ron: what the hell is this RACKET?
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Blur
(1:55 PM) Ron: huh
(1:55 PM) Kevin: You dont know this song?
(1:55 PM) Ron: no
(1:55 PM) Kevin: It's a huge single
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Girls who like boys who like boys who are girls
(1:55 PM) Ron: I don't know it
(1:55 PM) Ron: oh maybe when the chorus comes
(1:55 PM) Ron: right
(1:55 PM) Ron: I know it
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Great tune
(1:55 PM) Kevin: they are great
(1:55 PM) Kevin: I'm not saying this to be a dick
(1:56 PM) Kevin: but they are fucking 10000000 times better than oaisis
(1:56 PM) Ron: They eat crumbs from the inside of my jockey shorts
(1:56 PM) Kevin: as do I
(1:56 PM) Ron: I don't care what you think about Oasis
(1:56 PM) Ron: don't really give 100 shits
(1:56 PM) Kevin: somehow your body warmth makes those crumbs scrumdiddlyumptious
(1:56 PM) Kevin: so fucked up
(1:56 PM) Ron: take it down a notch
(1:56 PM) Kevin: I was all Willy Wonka up in this joint for a minute
(1:57 PM) Ron: not sure I understand what you mean - you were a poor orphan boy on a tour of a chocolate factory?
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Have you ever seen that movie?
(2:00 PM) Ron: no
(2:00 PM) Kevin: It's all about a dude who's got a crazy factory
(2:00 PM) Kevin: and a crazy mouth to go with it
(2:00 PM) Ron: I've read the book mr. dunce cap
(2:00 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna put a crazy mouth on a crazy part of your body
(2:00 PM) Ron: Willy Wonka is the kid isn't it?
(2:00 PM) Kevin: You have obviously NEVER read the book
(2:01 PM) Kevin: The kid's name is Charlie Bucket
(2:01 PM) Ron: In the book I read he was Willy Wonka - and they went to the shore for a holiday and watched whales
(2:01 PM) Kevin: And he had brain cancer, and lived in a trailer, and was perpetually drunk on rum
(2:02 PM) Ron: I wrote the prequel. . .WIlly Wonka is a Poor Orphan (and his Holiday at the Sea)
(2:03 PM) Kevin: And I wrote the sequel - The Burial of Willy Wonka (The drunk, cancerous orphan from the trailer park)
(2:03 PM) Ron: Gonna bury your ass before you die
(2:03 PM) Kevin: gonna sustain myself on the crumbs in your jockey shorts in the event of a nuclear holocaust
(2:04 PM) Ron: too fucking much
(2:04 PM) Ron: H3r3's a n3w comput3r game: shut the fuck up
(2:05 PM) Ron: Let me see if Kevin is available - I need to chop off his ass and bury it in the new Yankee Stadium
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Blur
(1:55 PM) Ron: huh
(1:55 PM) Kevin: You dont know this song?
(1:55 PM) Ron: no
(1:55 PM) Kevin: It's a huge single
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Girls who like boys who like boys who are girls
(1:55 PM) Ron: I don't know it
(1:55 PM) Ron: oh maybe when the chorus comes
(1:55 PM) Ron: right
(1:55 PM) Ron: I know it
(1:55 PM) Kevin: Great tune
(1:55 PM) Kevin: they are great
(1:55 PM) Kevin: I'm not saying this to be a dick
(1:56 PM) Kevin: but they are fucking 10000000 times better than oaisis
(1:56 PM) Ron: They eat crumbs from the inside of my jockey shorts
(1:56 PM) Kevin: as do I
(1:56 PM) Ron: I don't care what you think about Oasis
(1:56 PM) Ron: don't really give 100 shits
(1:56 PM) Kevin: somehow your body warmth makes those crumbs scrumdiddlyumptious
(1:56 PM) Kevin: so fucked up
(1:56 PM) Ron: take it down a notch
(1:56 PM) Kevin: I was all Willy Wonka up in this joint for a minute
(1:57 PM) Ron: not sure I understand what you mean - you were a poor orphan boy on a tour of a chocolate factory?
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Have you ever seen that movie?
(2:00 PM) Ron: no
(2:00 PM) Kevin: It's all about a dude who's got a crazy factory
(2:00 PM) Kevin: and a crazy mouth to go with it
(2:00 PM) Ron: I've read the book mr. dunce cap
(2:00 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna put a crazy mouth on a crazy part of your body
(2:00 PM) Ron: Willy Wonka is the kid isn't it?
(2:00 PM) Kevin: You have obviously NEVER read the book
(2:01 PM) Kevin: The kid's name is Charlie Bucket
(2:01 PM) Ron: In the book I read he was Willy Wonka - and they went to the shore for a holiday and watched whales
(2:01 PM) Kevin: And he had brain cancer, and lived in a trailer, and was perpetually drunk on rum
(2:02 PM) Ron: I wrote the prequel. . .WIlly Wonka is a Poor Orphan (and his Holiday at the Sea)
(2:03 PM) Kevin: And I wrote the sequel - The Burial of Willy Wonka (The drunk, cancerous orphan from the trailer park)
(2:03 PM) Ron: Gonna bury your ass before you die
(2:03 PM) Kevin: gonna sustain myself on the crumbs in your jockey shorts in the event of a nuclear holocaust
(2:04 PM) Ron: too fucking much
(2:04 PM) Ron: H3r3's a n3w comput3r game: shut the fuck up
(2:05 PM) Ron: Let me see if Kevin is available - I need to chop off his ass and bury it in the new Yankee Stadium
Lunch
(11:56 AM) Ron: what are you getting me for my birthday/christmas/new years celebration
(11:56 AM) Ron: besides lunch today
(11:56 AM) Kevin: Life ending fist in the face
(11:57 AM) Ron: I don't think you have the power to do that to me
(11:57 AM) Kevin: window/turntable/defenestration combo
(11:57 AM) Kevin: Silo w/ flaming corn
(11:58 AM) Kevin: Weekend on a dude ranch made entirely of upward faicing nails
(11:58 AM) Kevin: Year Membership in the freestyle drowning club
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And lunch
(11:58 AM) Ron: why don't you make good on your promises
(11:59 AM) Kevin: because I don't really want to kill you.
(11:59 AM) Ron: I know
(11:56 AM) Ron: besides lunch today
(11:56 AM) Kevin: Life ending fist in the face
(11:57 AM) Ron: I don't think you have the power to do that to me
(11:57 AM) Kevin: window/turntable/defenestration combo
(11:57 AM) Kevin: Silo w/ flaming corn
(11:58 AM) Kevin: Weekend on a dude ranch made entirely of upward faicing nails
(11:58 AM) Kevin: Year Membership in the freestyle drowning club
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And lunch
(11:58 AM) Ron: why don't you make good on your promises
(11:59 AM) Kevin: because I don't really want to kill you.
(11:59 AM) Ron: I know
Hit in the Head with a Metal Pipe
(11:07 AM) Ron: weird - I just had a thing flash in my mind - a mcdonald's sausage patty - the flavor
(11:08 AM) Kevin: That is cracking me the fuck up
(11:08 AM) Ron: it was the truth
(11:08 AM) Ron: dude - I don't want to do SHIT
(11:08 AM) Kevin: That's some shit you'd hear a guy say if he was like hit in the head with a metal pipe
(11:08 AM) Kevin: "For a moment, everything was quiet, and I could taste a McDonalds Sausage patty"
(11:08 AM) Kevin: That is cracking me the fuck up
(11:08 AM) Ron: it was the truth
(11:08 AM) Ron: dude - I don't want to do SHIT
(11:08 AM) Kevin: That's some shit you'd hear a guy say if he was like hit in the head with a metal pipe
(11:08 AM) Kevin: "For a moment, everything was quiet, and I could taste a McDonalds Sausage patty"
Puke Blowjob
(5:21 PM) Kevin: How would you feel if I left 30 min early
(5:22 PM) Ron: if you must go for it
(5:22 PM) Ron: I'd prefer it if you didn't
(5:23 PM) Kevin: how would you feel if I had been giving Darnell a blowjob when he threw up earlier
(5:24 PM) Ron: since you told me about it while sitting at your desk I would be blown away
(5:24 PM) Ron: imagine giving a BJ that makes someone puke
(5:24 PM) Ron: strange
(5:24 PM) Kevin: I don't have to imagine it. I've been on both ends of that equation
(5:22 PM) Ron: if you must go for it
(5:22 PM) Ron: I'd prefer it if you didn't
(5:23 PM) Kevin: how would you feel if I had been giving Darnell a blowjob when he threw up earlier
(5:24 PM) Ron: since you told me about it while sitting at your desk I would be blown away
(5:24 PM) Ron: imagine giving a BJ that makes someone puke
(5:24 PM) Ron: strange
(5:24 PM) Kevin: I don't have to imagine it. I've been on both ends of that equation
Hung Over Co-Worker Goes Home
(2:13 PM) Kevin: I think Darnell is puking in the bathroom
(2:13 PM) Ron: awwww
(2:13 PM) Kevin: Someone's in there grunting
(2:13 PM) Ron: that's sad
(2:13 PM) Kevin: with sexual glee
(2:13 PM) Kevin: (it's me and you 2 minutes into the guture)
(2:14 PM) Kevin: future
(2:14 PM) Kevin: Guture
(2:14 PM) Ron: hey check it out - you are getting ME a cookie
(2:14 PM) Kevin: Guture is like the dystopian future
(2:14 PM) Ron: excited
(2:15 PM) Kevin: He wants to call out sick, son
(2:15 PM) Ron: so much shame
(2:15 PM) Kevin: That's too much
(2:15 PM) Ron: I am the biggest dick in the world
(2:15 PM) Ron: right behind you
(2:15 PM) Ron: you are more of a dick
(2:15 PM) Ron: in every way
(2:13 PM) Ron: awwww
(2:13 PM) Kevin: Someone's in there grunting
(2:13 PM) Ron: that's sad
(2:13 PM) Kevin: with sexual glee
(2:13 PM) Kevin: (it's me and you 2 minutes into the guture)
(2:14 PM) Kevin: future
(2:14 PM) Kevin: Guture
(2:14 PM) Ron: hey check it out - you are getting ME a cookie
(2:14 PM) Kevin: Guture is like the dystopian future
(2:14 PM) Ron: excited
(2:15 PM) Kevin: He wants to call out sick, son
(2:15 PM) Ron: so much shame
(2:15 PM) Kevin: That's too much
(2:15 PM) Ron: I am the biggest dick in the world
(2:15 PM) Ron: right behind you
(2:15 PM) Ron: you are more of a dick
(2:15 PM) Ron: in every way
Hating Our Job
(2:16 PM) Kevin: Every time I step into this arena of douchington I feel crappy
(2:16 PM) Kevin: deal with it
(2:16 PM) Ron: there's a word for that
(2:16 PM) Kevin: All I want to do is be in bed napping with my cat
(2:17 PM) Ron: its called "wankleberry"
(2:17 PM) Ron: that's what you are
(2:18 PM) Kevin: I suppose I deserved that
(2:16 PM) Kevin: deal with it
(2:16 PM) Ron: there's a word for that
(2:16 PM) Kevin: All I want to do is be in bed napping with my cat
(2:17 PM) Ron: its called "wankleberry"
(2:17 PM) Ron: that's what you are
(2:18 PM) Kevin: I suppose I deserved that
Humming
(1:11 PM) Ron: are you humming?
(1:11 PM) Kevin: Um...
(1:11 PM) Kevin: maybe
(1:11 PM) Ron: seriously ffucked up
(1:11 PM) Kevin: Does it make you want to come over and harmonize with me?
(1:11 PM) Ron: for that I'm getting you the NSYNC Christmas album
(1:12 PM) Kevin: For that, I am getting you a life ending colonic
(1:11 PM) Kevin: Um...
(1:11 PM) Kevin: maybe
(1:11 PM) Ron: seriously ffucked up
(1:11 PM) Kevin: Does it make you want to come over and harmonize with me?
(1:11 PM) Ron: for that I'm getting you the NSYNC Christmas album
(1:12 PM) Kevin: For that, I am getting you a life ending colonic
Suicide
(12:04 PM) Ron: take off your belt, put it around your neck, slip one end into the buckle, go into the server closet, stand on a chair, tie one end around some sturdy piping, jump. See what happens. Its neat.
(12:05 PM) Kevin: I see you laughing over there
(12:05 PM) Ron: funniest shit ever written
(12:05 PM) Kevin: Its too bad I won't be alive to see the guilt on your face after my suicide.
(12:05 PM) Ron: I will be seriously bummed out
(12:05 PM) Kevin: I see you laughing over there
(12:05 PM) Ron: funniest shit ever written
(12:05 PM) Kevin: Its too bad I won't be alive to see the guilt on your face after my suicide.
(12:05 PM) Ron: I will be seriously bummed out
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
How Youths Talk
(3:23 PM) Ron: old people are super lame
(3:24 PM) Ron: except for you
(3:24 PM) Kevin: Dick, you're the old one here.
(3:24 PM) Kevin: You were like 105 when cars were invented
(3:24 PM) Ron: check it out - I'm not as old as I told you I was
(3:24 PM) Kevin: yr 13
(3:24 PM) Kevin: Yr doucheteen
(3:24 PM) Ron: this is an internship I'm doing to get out of advanced algebra
(3:24 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna throw you out an advanced window
(3:25 PM) Ron: totulli worth it lols
(3:25 PM) Kevin: HAY r@wnz! Dew y3w w@ann@ haynge Aut Layter?!
(3:26 PM) Kevin: That's how the youths talk
(3:26 PM) Kevin: so ...
(3:26 PM) Ron: eye du knowt wahna siiii u aghane!
(3:27 PM) Kevin: th@tz s3w Fuc<3d UP
(3:28 PM) Ron: 373 d0nut kare
(3:32 PM) Kevin: Wh@l3, 3y3 th!n< y0ur3 a str@!GhT uP d!c<@s@urus
(3:24 PM) Ron: except for you
(3:24 PM) Kevin: Dick, you're the old one here.
(3:24 PM) Kevin: You were like 105 when cars were invented
(3:24 PM) Ron: check it out - I'm not as old as I told you I was
(3:24 PM) Kevin: yr 13
(3:24 PM) Kevin: Yr doucheteen
(3:24 PM) Ron: this is an internship I'm doing to get out of advanced algebra
(3:24 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna throw you out an advanced window
(3:25 PM) Ron: totulli worth it lols
(3:25 PM) Kevin: HAY r@wnz! Dew y3w w@ann@ haynge Aut Layter?!
(3:26 PM) Kevin: That's how the youths talk
(3:26 PM) Kevin: so ...
(3:26 PM) Ron: eye du knowt wahna siiii u aghane!
(3:27 PM) Kevin: th@tz s3w Fuc<3d UP
(3:28 PM) Ron: 373 d0nut kare
(3:32 PM) Kevin: Wh@l3, 3y3 th!n< y0ur3 a str@!GhT uP d!c<@s@urus
Economic Downturn
(12:53 PM) Kevin: All things considered, I think we're doing pretty good in this economic downturn
(12:54 PM) Kevin: people are at least "talking" to us
(12:54 PM) Ron: well shit is going to get worse
(12:54 PM) Kevin: as opposed to just out and out cancelling
(12:54 PM) Kevin: No it will not
(12:54 PM) Ron: this is kind of just the beginning
(12:54 PM) Kevin: not on my watch it wont
(12:54 PM) Ron: ok captain kangaroo
(12:55 PM) Kevin: This is why I want to go get a job at NPR
(12:55 PM) Kevin: JOB SECURITY
(12:55 PM) Ron: har
(12:56 PM) Ron: NPR will be phased out in exactly:
(12:56 PM) Ron: two weeks
(12:56 PM) Kevin: My hand will be in your diapers in exactly:
(12:56 PM) Kevin: 4 minutes
(12:56 PM) Ron: so stupid
(12:56 PM) Ron: idiocy
(12:58 PM) Kevin: How intense would it be if once night after work, you and I went out to get some food and a beer, and I was like "Ron. Dude. I gotta be straight up with you man. I am wearing a diaper right now. And not because I'm incontinent. Because I really love the way it feels to poop myself. I'm telling you this because I knew you wouldn't judge me - knew you would embrace me for who I was."
(12:58 PM) Kevin: Would that give you an economic downturn, euphemistically?
(12:59 PM) Ron: I know for reals this is not possible
(12:59 PM) Ron: so I'm not even going to consider it hypothetically
(1:00 PM) Kevin: Dude...can we go get a drink after work tonight? I wanna talk to you about something
(12:54 PM) Kevin: people are at least "talking" to us
(12:54 PM) Ron: well shit is going to get worse
(12:54 PM) Kevin: as opposed to just out and out cancelling
(12:54 PM) Kevin: No it will not
(12:54 PM) Ron: this is kind of just the beginning
(12:54 PM) Kevin: not on my watch it wont
(12:54 PM) Ron: ok captain kangaroo
(12:55 PM) Kevin: This is why I want to go get a job at NPR
(12:55 PM) Kevin: JOB SECURITY
(12:55 PM) Ron: har
(12:56 PM) Ron: NPR will be phased out in exactly:
(12:56 PM) Ron: two weeks
(12:56 PM) Kevin: My hand will be in your diapers in exactly:
(12:56 PM) Kevin: 4 minutes
(12:56 PM) Ron: so stupid
(12:56 PM) Ron: idiocy
(12:58 PM) Kevin: How intense would it be if once night after work, you and I went out to get some food and a beer, and I was like "Ron. Dude. I gotta be straight up with you man. I am wearing a diaper right now. And not because I'm incontinent. Because I really love the way it feels to poop myself. I'm telling you this because I knew you wouldn't judge me - knew you would embrace me for who I was."
(12:58 PM) Kevin: Would that give you an economic downturn, euphemistically?
(12:59 PM) Ron: I know for reals this is not possible
(12:59 PM) Ron: so I'm not even going to consider it hypothetically
(1:00 PM) Kevin: Dude...can we go get a drink after work tonight? I wanna talk to you about something
Monday, December 1, 2008
Gas Prices
(5:07 PM) Kevin: Can you explain to me why gas prices are so low all of a sudden
(5:07 PM) Kevin: they're suddenly at prices that make sense
(5:07 PM) Kevin: like, as far as inflation goes
(5:07 PM) Ron: oil prices are down - why I'm not sure
(5:07 PM) Kevin: ...kind of
(5:07 PM) Ron: something to do with the economy being in the shitter
(5:08 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna be in your shitter in a minute
(5:08 PM) Kevin: BOOM
(5:08 PM) Ron: so stupid
(5:08 PM) Ron: so innappropriate
(5:08 PM) Kevin: So effortless
(5:08 PM) Ron: so right
(5:07 PM) Kevin: they're suddenly at prices that make sense
(5:07 PM) Kevin: like, as far as inflation goes
(5:07 PM) Ron: oil prices are down - why I'm not sure
(5:07 PM) Kevin: ...kind of
(5:07 PM) Ron: something to do with the economy being in the shitter
(5:08 PM) Kevin: I'm gonna be in your shitter in a minute
(5:08 PM) Kevin: BOOM
(5:08 PM) Ron: so stupid
(5:08 PM) Ron: so innappropriate
(5:08 PM) Kevin: So effortless
(5:08 PM) Ron: so right
Vagina Monologues
(3:53 PM) Kevin: Do you think it would be sexist to stage the Vagina Monologues read entirely by men
(3:54 PM) Ron: Well - my first impulse is yes
(3:54 PM) Ron: but maybe you could play it like it was solidarity
(3:54 PM) Ron: as long as all the dudes were very sarcastic and dismissive
(3:54 PM) Ron: then it would be very much a tribute
(3:55 PM) Kevin: I had this idea when I lived in Texas, and I mentioned it to this girl who didn't shave her armpits, and she told me that I was crossing over into "dangerous territory"
(3:55 PM) Kevin: Those were her exact words
(3:55 PM) Kevin: I don't mention her unshaved armpits as an assessment of her character
(3:55 PM) Ron: then you should definitely do a one-man-show of vagina monologues
(3:56 PM) Ron: clearly you did
(3:56 PM) Kevin: but it should give you some insight into her politics
(3:56 PM) Kevin: I did it as an assessment of her filthy ass armpits
(3:56 PM) Kevin: cracking up at myself right now
(3:56 PM) Kevin: It feels crazy to be so funn
(3:56 PM) Ron: You could mount a huge ass broadway productions of the Vag 'logues
(3:56 PM) Kevin: The Vagilogs
(3:57 PM) Kevin: That's my new travestite punk band, the vag-logs
(3:58 PM) Ron: Vaj Logs
(3:58 PM) Ron: Just to have the pronunciation
(3:54 PM) Ron: Well - my first impulse is yes
(3:54 PM) Ron: but maybe you could play it like it was solidarity
(3:54 PM) Ron: as long as all the dudes were very sarcastic and dismissive
(3:54 PM) Ron: then it would be very much a tribute
(3:55 PM) Kevin: I had this idea when I lived in Texas, and I mentioned it to this girl who didn't shave her armpits, and she told me that I was crossing over into "dangerous territory"
(3:55 PM) Kevin: Those were her exact words
(3:55 PM) Kevin: I don't mention her unshaved armpits as an assessment of her character
(3:55 PM) Ron: then you should definitely do a one-man-show of vagina monologues
(3:56 PM) Ron: clearly you did
(3:56 PM) Kevin: but it should give you some insight into her politics
(3:56 PM) Kevin: I did it as an assessment of her filthy ass armpits
(3:56 PM) Kevin: cracking up at myself right now
(3:56 PM) Kevin: It feels crazy to be so funn
(3:56 PM) Ron: You could mount a huge ass broadway productions of the Vag 'logues
(3:56 PM) Kevin: The Vagilogs
(3:57 PM) Kevin: That's my new travestite punk band, the vag-logs
(3:58 PM) Ron: Vaj Logs
(3:58 PM) Ron: Just to have the pronunciation
Rap #3
(2:53 PM) Kevin: This is the opening music to the movie Yojimbo
(2:53 PM) Kevin: totally unedited by me
(2:53 PM) Kevin: I want to spruce it up a bit
(2:53 PM) Kevin: cuz it is ripe for beat making
(2:55 PM) Ron: ripe to be ruined by you
(2:55 PM) Kevin: Ripe to be raped
(2:55 PM) Kevin: wearing a weird half cape
(2:55 PM) Kevin: Tony Danza face
(2:55 PM) Kevin: In a neck brace
(2:55 PM) Ron: you could start another world war if you got out
(2:55 PM) Kevin: dog pile trip on shantilly lace
(2:56 PM) Ron: basically a world power would nuke any country that gave you asylum
(2:56 PM) Kevin: Dainty little steps on a weekend trip
(2:56 PM) Kevin: Give yr mom's the slip while I punch you in the hip
(2:57 PM) Ron: you would be "rapping" over some terrible IM connection and as long as they got the general area of the country they would happily turn all the other inhabitants into dust to shut you up
(2:53 PM) Kevin: totally unedited by me
(2:53 PM) Kevin: I want to spruce it up a bit
(2:53 PM) Kevin: cuz it is ripe for beat making
(2:55 PM) Ron: ripe to be ruined by you
(2:55 PM) Kevin: Ripe to be raped
(2:55 PM) Kevin: wearing a weird half cape
(2:55 PM) Kevin: Tony Danza face
(2:55 PM) Kevin: In a neck brace
(2:55 PM) Ron: you could start another world war if you got out
(2:55 PM) Kevin: dog pile trip on shantilly lace
(2:56 PM) Ron: basically a world power would nuke any country that gave you asylum
(2:56 PM) Kevin: Dainty little steps on a weekend trip
(2:56 PM) Kevin: Give yr mom's the slip while I punch you in the hip
(2:57 PM) Ron: you would be "rapping" over some terrible IM connection and as long as they got the general area of the country they would happily turn all the other inhabitants into dust to shut you up
Christmas Presents for Kevin's Dad
(2:10 PM) Ron: why don't you get him one of those sublime frequencies jams?
(2:11 PM) Ron: that's world music - but kinda out there at the same time
(2:11 PM) Kevin: I think those might be too much for him
(2:11 PM) Kevin: I think he's into more...pro recorded shits
(2:12 PM) Ron: give the dude a break
(2:12 PM) Ron: he's kind of hip
(2:12 PM) Ron: we hung out this weekend
(2:12 PM) Ron: actually recorded some tunes ourselves
(2:13 PM) Ron: if you want to call recording the sound of sex "tunes"
(2:13 PM) Kevin: I am filing a restraining order against you
(2:11 PM) Ron: that's world music - but kinda out there at the same time
(2:11 PM) Kevin: I think those might be too much for him
(2:11 PM) Kevin: I think he's into more...pro recorded shits
(2:12 PM) Ron: give the dude a break
(2:12 PM) Ron: he's kind of hip
(2:12 PM) Ron: we hung out this weekend
(2:12 PM) Ron: actually recorded some tunes ourselves
(2:13 PM) Ron: if you want to call recording the sound of sex "tunes"
(2:13 PM) Kevin: I am filing a restraining order against you
Rap #2
(12:20 PM) Kevin: are we going to Mooncake today
(12:20 PM) Kevin: or do I have to start rapping again
(12:20 PM) Ron: we could if you want
(12:20 PM) Kevin: Cuz I could rap all afternoon
(12:20 PM) Ron: give thanks for your raps
(12:20 PM) Kevin: Give thanks for your raps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: lose all your money on craps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: take 3 naps
(12:21 PM) Ron: STOP
(12:21 PM) Kevin: get face slaps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: set traps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: what's the haps?
(12:21 PM) Ron: I'm no longer buying you lunch dick
(12:21 PM) Kevin: You can call my ass mud flaps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: man, I was so hungry for some lunchdick, too.
(12:20 PM) Kevin: or do I have to start rapping again
(12:20 PM) Ron: we could if you want
(12:20 PM) Kevin: Cuz I could rap all afternoon
(12:20 PM) Ron: give thanks for your raps
(12:20 PM) Kevin: Give thanks for your raps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: lose all your money on craps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: take 3 naps
(12:21 PM) Ron: STOP
(12:21 PM) Kevin: get face slaps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: set traps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: what's the haps?
(12:21 PM) Ron: I'm no longer buying you lunch dick
(12:21 PM) Kevin: You can call my ass mud flaps
(12:21 PM) Kevin: man, I was so hungry for some lunchdick, too.
Rap #1
(12:08 PM) Kevin: Access restricted
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Bullet wound self inflicted
(12:09 PM) Ron: password "Ima pig"
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Like Plaxico Burress
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Come watch me undress
(12:10 PM) Ron: terrible
(12:10 PM) Ron: worst rap I've heard in the last 10 minutes
(12:10 PM) Kevin: Causin mad distress
(12:10 PM) Kevin: in your area
(12:10 PM) Kevin: like an aircraft carrier
(12:17 PM) Kevin: causin mass hysteria
(12:17 PM) Ron: please
(12:17 PM) Kevin: making bi-weekly rape jokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: stop your rap
(12:17 PM) Kevin: Takin frequent joint tokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: before I start sending you more sonnets
(12:17 PM) Kevin: baseball card in my spokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: god
(12:18 PM) Kevin: I think that rap was very topical
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Bullet wound self inflicted
(12:09 PM) Ron: password "Ima pig"
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Like Plaxico Burress
(12:09 PM) Kevin: Come watch me undress
(12:10 PM) Ron: terrible
(12:10 PM) Ron: worst rap I've heard in the last 10 minutes
(12:10 PM) Kevin: Causin mad distress
(12:10 PM) Kevin: in your area
(12:10 PM) Kevin: like an aircraft carrier
(12:17 PM) Kevin: causin mass hysteria
(12:17 PM) Ron: please
(12:17 PM) Kevin: making bi-weekly rape jokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: stop your rap
(12:17 PM) Kevin: Takin frequent joint tokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: before I start sending you more sonnets
(12:17 PM) Kevin: baseball card in my spokes
(12:17 PM) Ron: god
(12:18 PM) Kevin: I think that rap was very topical
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Dude Doesn't Think for a Hot Minute...
(2:47 PM) Ron: dude the "clearance fail" dude's gotta be DEAD!
(2:47 PM) Ron: WTF
(2:49 PM) Kevin: That was me
(2:49 PM) Ron: so f'ed
(2:49 PM) Ron: dude wasn't thinking for a hot minute and ends up dead
(2:50 PM) Kevin: THAT WAS ME
(2:50 PM) Kevin: STILL ALIVE
(2:50 PM) Kevin: Look, I've learned my lesson about towing trailers
(2:50 PM) Kevin: but I regret nothing
(2:50 PM) Ron: dude doesn't think for a hot minute and ends up impregnating a yeti
(2:51 PM) Kevin: THAT WAS ME
(2:51 PM) Kevin: Raising a half yeti
(2:51 PM) Kevin: I made a mistake
(2:51 PM) Kevin: but I'm prepared to live with my decision
(2:51 PM) Kevin: She looked good, son
(2:51 PM) Kevin: She had on a tube top
(2:52 PM) Ron: dude doesn't think for a hot minute and ends up not being able to think of a good retort
(2:52 PM) Kevin: That in itself wasn't a bad retort
End of Civilization
(2:27 PM) Kevin: So I'm becoming obsessed with this idea of the end of civilization
(2:27 PM) Kevin: I am thinking that I might want to learn how to grow my own food and shit
(2:27 PM) Kevin: in order to live into the future
(2:27 PM) Ron: you've told me that before
(2:27 PM) Kevin: I also want to buy a gun
(2:28 PM) Ron: you should prob be more concerned about the end of your memory
(2:28 PM) Kevin: So I can shoot you
(2:28 PM) Ron: you've said (done) that before. You missed. But you wouldn't remember that.
(2:28 PM) Kevin: Dude, you're the one with the terrible memory
(2:28 PM) Kevin: so don't even front
(2:29 PM) Kevin: you didn't know my name for the first 18 months I worked here
(2:29 PM) Ron: you have absolutely zero examples of this
(2:29 PM) Ron: ZERO
(2:29 PM) Kevin: You kept calling me Leprechaun and Leprosy
(2:29 PM) Kevin: I don't even know where you got that shit
(2:29 PM) Kevin: but you just kept forgetting
(2:29 PM) Ron: What's wrong with call you "the guy with the douchey face"?
(2:29 PM) Kevin: Well you're doing that Tonto shit again
(2:30 PM) Kevin: I'll tell you what's wrong with call me douchey face
(2:30 PM) Ron: me no do tonto
(2:30 PM) Kevin: it's innacurate.
(2:30 PM) Kevin: I am the guy with the distinguished, chiseled jawline
(2:30 PM) Ron: what wrong with tonto call you "man with big heap of douche over face"
(2:31 PM) Kevin: Is it ok, then, if I call you "The man with the fecal complexion"?
(2:32 PM) Ron: terrible
(2:32 PM) Ron: not factual
(2:32 PM) Ron: stick to the facts
(2:32 PM) Kevin: Here's a fact.
(2:32 PM) Kevin: I am going to induce apocalypse just so I have an excuse, in all the chaos and mayhem, to shoot you
(2:33 PM) Ron: what the fuck?
(2:33 PM) Kevin: Until now I was worried about it. Now I'm looking forward to it
(2:33 PM) Kevin: I will make you DJ for 6 hours at the end of a shooting range
(2:33 PM) Ron: prescription: rice pill, face punch, cliff jump
(2:34 PM) Ron: so at the end of the world you would be singularly focused on shooting me?
(2:35 PM) Ron: Just look behind me - I'll be the one with my boot up your ass
(2:35 PM) Kevin: It would be machinated in order to get you at the end of a shooting range with two turntables (Stanton Belt-Driven tables - the cheap kind) and forcing you to DJ only Sade and En Vogue singles until such time that you are taken out by wealthy militants
(2:35 PM) Ron: Yes - that may be an impossibility
(2:35 PM) Ron: If you look behind me you will see me with my boot up your ass
(2:36 PM) Ron: Book of revelations shit
(2:36 PM) Kevin: If I look behind you
(2:36 PM) Kevin: That's spooky
(2:36 PM) Ron: if you look behind your own face you will find my face
(2:36 PM) Kevin: This is like an Ingmar Bergman movie
(2:36 PM) Ron: and its coming through to crush your face
(2:27 PM) Kevin: I am thinking that I might want to learn how to grow my own food and shit
(2:27 PM) Kevin: in order to live into the future
(2:27 PM) Ron: you've told me that before
(2:27 PM) Kevin: I also want to buy a gun
(2:28 PM) Ron: you should prob be more concerned about the end of your memory
(2:28 PM) Kevin: So I can shoot you
(2:28 PM) Ron: you've said (done) that before. You missed. But you wouldn't remember that.
(2:28 PM) Kevin: Dude, you're the one with the terrible memory
(2:28 PM) Kevin: so don't even front
(2:29 PM) Kevin: you didn't know my name for the first 18 months I worked here
(2:29 PM) Ron: you have absolutely zero examples of this
(2:29 PM) Ron: ZERO
(2:29 PM) Kevin: You kept calling me Leprechaun and Leprosy
(2:29 PM) Kevin: I don't even know where you got that shit
(2:29 PM) Kevin: but you just kept forgetting
(2:29 PM) Ron: What's wrong with call you "the guy with the douchey face"?
(2:29 PM) Kevin: Well you're doing that Tonto shit again
(2:30 PM) Kevin: I'll tell you what's wrong with call me douchey face
(2:30 PM) Ron: me no do tonto
(2:30 PM) Kevin: it's innacurate.
(2:30 PM) Kevin: I am the guy with the distinguished, chiseled jawline
(2:30 PM) Ron: what wrong with tonto call you "man with big heap of douche over face"
(2:31 PM) Kevin: Is it ok, then, if I call you "The man with the fecal complexion"?
(2:32 PM) Ron: terrible
(2:32 PM) Ron: not factual
(2:32 PM) Ron: stick to the facts
(2:32 PM) Kevin: Here's a fact.
(2:32 PM) Kevin: I am going to induce apocalypse just so I have an excuse, in all the chaos and mayhem, to shoot you
(2:33 PM) Ron: what the fuck?
(2:33 PM) Kevin: Until now I was worried about it. Now I'm looking forward to it
(2:33 PM) Kevin: I will make you DJ for 6 hours at the end of a shooting range
(2:33 PM) Ron: prescription: rice pill, face punch, cliff jump
(2:34 PM) Ron: so at the end of the world you would be singularly focused on shooting me?
(2:35 PM) Ron: Just look behind me - I'll be the one with my boot up your ass
(2:35 PM) Kevin: It would be machinated in order to get you at the end of a shooting range with two turntables (Stanton Belt-Driven tables - the cheap kind) and forcing you to DJ only Sade and En Vogue singles until such time that you are taken out by wealthy militants
(2:35 PM) Ron: Yes - that may be an impossibility
(2:35 PM) Ron: If you look behind me you will see me with my boot up your ass
(2:36 PM) Ron: Book of revelations shit
(2:36 PM) Kevin: If I look behind you
(2:36 PM) Kevin: That's spooky
(2:36 PM) Ron: if you look behind your own face you will find my face
(2:36 PM) Kevin: This is like an Ingmar Bergman movie
(2:36 PM) Ron: and its coming through to crush your face
Getting Off
(12:46 PM) Ron: I know what goatse is now
(12:46 PM) Kevin: And how do you feel about it
(12:46 PM) Ron: I have become enlightened
(12:47 PM) Kevin: Your next assigments:
(12:47 PM) Kevin: tubgirl, lemonparty
(12:47 PM) Kevin: They're pretty nasty though
(12:47 PM) Kevin: probably best if you don't look at them at work
(12:48 PM) Ron: I'm never going to actually look at those sites
(12:48 PM) Ron: I haven't and won't
(12:48 PM) Ron: there's a friendly wiki descrip of their contents
(12:48 PM) Ron: that's enough
(12:48 PM) Kevin: That is friendly of wikipedia.
(12:49 PM) Ron: have you seen the actual sites?
(12:49 PM) Kevin: Yes
(12:49 PM) Kevin: I visit them nightly
(12:49 PM) Ron: disappointed in you
(12:49 PM) Kevin: A guy's gotta get off somehow
(12:49 PM) Ron: par for the course
(12:49 PM) Ron: there are other ways to get off
(12:49 PM) Ron: cuteoverlad.com
(12:49 PM) Kevin: I also get off by collecting the tears of recently divorced couples
(12:50 PM) Ron: sad
(12:50 PM) Kevin: Punching grade schoolers in the sternum
(12:50 PM) Kevin: Headbutting people in wheelchairs
(12:50 PM) Ron: *sigh - lips flapping*
(12:46 PM) Kevin: And how do you feel about it
(12:46 PM) Ron: I have become enlightened
(12:47 PM) Kevin: Your next assigments:
(12:47 PM) Kevin: tubgirl, lemonparty
(12:47 PM) Kevin: They're pretty nasty though
(12:47 PM) Kevin: probably best if you don't look at them at work
(12:48 PM) Ron: I'm never going to actually look at those sites
(12:48 PM) Ron: I haven't and won't
(12:48 PM) Ron: there's a friendly wiki descrip of their contents
(12:48 PM) Ron: that's enough
(12:48 PM) Kevin: That is friendly of wikipedia.
(12:49 PM) Ron: have you seen the actual sites?
(12:49 PM) Kevin: Yes
(12:49 PM) Kevin: I visit them nightly
(12:49 PM) Ron: disappointed in you
(12:49 PM) Kevin: A guy's gotta get off somehow
(12:49 PM) Ron: par for the course
(12:49 PM) Ron: there are other ways to get off
(12:49 PM) Ron: cuteoverlad.com
(12:49 PM) Kevin: I also get off by collecting the tears of recently divorced couples
(12:50 PM) Ron: sad
(12:50 PM) Kevin: Punching grade schoolers in the sternum
(12:50 PM) Kevin: Headbutting people in wheelchairs
(12:50 PM) Ron: *sigh - lips flapping*
Friday, November 21, 2008
Senatorial Investigation
(1:30 PM) Ron: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/22/health/22radio.html?hp
(1:31 PM) Kevin: wow, what a fuckhorse
(1:31 PM) Ron: totally
(1:31 PM) Ron: just shat on NPR - prob lost them more government funding
(1:32 PM) Kevin: I hope his ass gets fiiiiiired
(1:33 PM) Kevin: I'll take his job
(1:33 PM) Ron: wow if you read more of the article this senator is coming down hard on drug companies
(1:33 PM) Kevin: and make no money offering my own, very controversial research
(1:33 PM) Ron: and fucking with researchers who take more money from them than they report
(1:33 PM) Kevin: "Kids can easy be cured of autism with a cock slap"
(1:33 PM) Ron: (May require repeated, infinite slaps until death)
(1:34 PM) Kevin: That just owned my life
(1:34 PM) Ron: because you got that prescription as a young child
(1:34 PM) Ron: and I'm the Dr. filling it
(1:34 PM) Ron: day in and day out
(1:31 PM) Kevin: wow, what a fuckhorse
(1:31 PM) Ron: totally
(1:31 PM) Ron: just shat on NPR - prob lost them more government funding
(1:32 PM) Kevin: I hope his ass gets fiiiiiired
(1:33 PM) Kevin: I'll take his job
(1:33 PM) Ron: wow if you read more of the article this senator is coming down hard on drug companies
(1:33 PM) Kevin: and make no money offering my own, very controversial research
(1:33 PM) Ron: and fucking with researchers who take more money from them than they report
(1:33 PM) Kevin: "Kids can easy be cured of autism with a cock slap"
(1:33 PM) Ron: (May require repeated, infinite slaps until death)
(1:34 PM) Kevin: That just owned my life
(1:34 PM) Ron: because you got that prescription as a young child
(1:34 PM) Ron: and I'm the Dr. filling it
(1:34 PM) Ron: day in and day out
DMX Tune
(12:38 PM) Ron: BEWARE - I'M GONNA ATTACK YOU AT SOME POINT TODAY
(12:39 PM) Kevin: WTF is that
(12:41 PM) Ron: GONNA GO FOR DA THROAT
(12:42 PM) Ron: RAY GUN BLAST
(12:43 PM) Kevin: This sounds like a lil' wayne tune
(12:43 PM) Kevin: I take that back
(12:43 PM) Kevin: sounds like a DMX tune
(12:43 PM) Ron: YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE LIKE A CAT IN A MICROWAVE
(12:39 PM) Kevin: WTF is that
(12:41 PM) Ron: GONNA GO FOR DA THROAT
(12:42 PM) Ron: RAY GUN BLAST
(12:43 PM) Kevin: This sounds like a lil' wayne tune
(12:43 PM) Kevin: I take that back
(12:43 PM) Kevin: sounds like a DMX tune
(12:43 PM) Ron: YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE LIKE A CAT IN A MICROWAVE
Maura Tierney
(12:06 PM) Ron: oh BTW. . .I saw Maura Tierney at Fette Sau on Tues
(12:06 PM) Ron: she looked mad good
(12:06 PM) Kevin: I dont know who that is
(12:07 PM) Ron: http://www.superiorpics.com/wenn_album/Maura_Tierney_-_Heading_to_Divorce/Maura_Tierney_002_072806.jpg
(12:07 PM) Ron: she does not look good in that
(12:07 PM) Ron: http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/46/54/0000034654_20061021010226.jpg
(12:07 PM) Kevin: She's got issues. She needs to change her name to frumplestiltskin
(12:07 PM) Ron: she in her 40s - get over yourself
(12:08 PM) Ron: she looks good
(12:08 PM) Kevin: I know all of this
(12:08 PM) Kevin: I am married to her
(12:08 PM) Ron: fuck you
(12:08 PM) Kevin: P'd off at you
(12:08 PM) Ron: we are having an affair - she's about to divorce your weak ass
(12:08 PM) Ron: she says your pits smell terrible
(12:09 PM) Kevin: We have an open relationship. We like to explore as many sensual, sexual beings as we can, because we're open minded. We may be married, but I don't possess her like you endeavor too. Let go of all that negative energy and find your emotional center in freeing, emotionally weighted sex play
(12:26 PM) Kevin: I see that you have no response once I exposed you to the depth of our relationship
(12:26 PM) Ron: who cares
(12:06 PM) Ron: she looked mad good
(12:06 PM) Kevin: I dont know who that is
(12:07 PM) Ron: http://www.superiorpics.com/wenn_album/Maura_Tierney_-_Heading_to_Divorce/Maura_Tierney_002_072806.jpg
(12:07 PM) Ron: she does not look good in that
(12:07 PM) Ron: http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/46/54/0000034654_20061021010226.jpg
(12:07 PM) Kevin: She's got issues. She needs to change her name to frumplestiltskin
(12:07 PM) Ron: she in her 40s - get over yourself
(12:08 PM) Ron: she looks good
(12:08 PM) Kevin: I know all of this
(12:08 PM) Kevin: I am married to her
(12:08 PM) Ron: fuck you
(12:08 PM) Kevin: P'd off at you
(12:08 PM) Ron: we are having an affair - she's about to divorce your weak ass
(12:08 PM) Ron: she says your pits smell terrible
(12:09 PM) Kevin: We have an open relationship. We like to explore as many sensual, sexual beings as we can, because we're open minded. We may be married, but I don't possess her like you endeavor too. Let go of all that negative energy and find your emotional center in freeing, emotionally weighted sex play
(12:26 PM) Kevin: I see that you have no response once I exposed you to the depth of our relationship
(12:26 PM) Ron: who cares
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Argument Over Raekwon
(6:30 PM) Kevin: This beat is so nuts
(6:31 PM) Kevin: There's a girl talking in the backgound saying "I wanna love him ... but what if he-"
(6:31 PM) Kevin: and then it repeats
(6:31 PM) Ron: sounds like something I hawked into a storm drain this morning
(6:32 PM) Kevin: I pissed inside your mouth and butthole this morning
(6:32 PM) Kevin: that's why you woke up wet in both orifii
(6:32 PM) Kevin: so fuck with that
(6:32 PM) Ron: so outsized
(6:32 PM) Ron: tone it down racist
(6:31 PM) Kevin: There's a girl talking in the backgound saying "I wanna love him ... but what if he-"
(6:31 PM) Kevin: and then it repeats
(6:31 PM) Ron: sounds like something I hawked into a storm drain this morning
(6:32 PM) Kevin: I pissed inside your mouth and butthole this morning
(6:32 PM) Kevin: that's why you woke up wet in both orifii
(6:32 PM) Kevin: so fuck with that
(6:32 PM) Ron: so outsized
(6:32 PM) Ron: tone it down racist
Dow Jones Industrial Average
(3:12 PM) Ron: what is happening right now?
(3:13 PM) Kevin: Doing work
(3:16 PM) Ron: self-righteous
(3:42 PM) Kevin: DOW: 7,628
(3:42 PM) Ron: Dow: take a sip from my penis
(3:42 PM) Kevin: Dow: Don't mind if I do
(3:13 PM) Kevin: Doing work
(3:16 PM) Ron: self-righteous
(3:42 PM) Kevin: DOW: 7,628
(3:42 PM) Ron: Dow: take a sip from my penis
(3:42 PM) Kevin: Dow: Don't mind if I do
Dream
(11:58 AM) Kevin: Check this out:
(11:58 AM) Kevin: I had a crazy ass dream last night
(11:58 AM) Kevin: You and I were hobos
(11:58 AM) Ron: ok
(11:58 AM) Ron: hehe
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And we were like huddled around a burning drum, wearing several layers, fingerless gloves, warming out hands over the fire.
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And we were riffing, just like we do all day on IM.
(11:59 AM) Kevin: And we were talking about Turduckhen
(11:59 AM) Kevin: You know Turduckhen?
(12:00 PM) Kevin: anyway, we were talking about Turduckhen,and what a stupid, ridiculous idea it was.
(12:00 PM) Kevin: And we came up with this thing, which was a duck with money stuffed in its mouth, that is then stuffed inside a dog
(12:00 PM) Kevin: Which is called a Dogduckdough
(12:00 PM) Kevin: I swear to god I'm not making this up.
(12:03 PM) Ron: how are you remembering this?
(12:03 PM) Kevin: I woke up and immediately started telling Janine about it.
(12:04 PM) Ron: I'm sure she was beside herself with excitement
(11:58 AM) Kevin: I had a crazy ass dream last night
(11:58 AM) Kevin: You and I were hobos
(11:58 AM) Ron: ok
(11:58 AM) Ron: hehe
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And we were like huddled around a burning drum, wearing several layers, fingerless gloves, warming out hands over the fire.
(11:58 AM) Kevin: And we were riffing, just like we do all day on IM.
(11:59 AM) Kevin: And we were talking about Turduckhen
(11:59 AM) Kevin: You know Turduckhen?
(12:00 PM) Kevin: anyway, we were talking about Turduckhen,and what a stupid, ridiculous idea it was.
(12:00 PM) Kevin: And we came up with this thing, which was a duck with money stuffed in its mouth, that is then stuffed inside a dog
(12:00 PM) Kevin: Which is called a Dogduckdough
(12:00 PM) Kevin: I swear to god I'm not making this up.
(12:03 PM) Ron: how are you remembering this?
(12:03 PM) Kevin: I woke up and immediately started telling Janine about it.
(12:04 PM) Ron: I'm sure she was beside herself with excitement
Pickle
(1:40 PM) Kevin: That pickle was fucking insane
(1:41 PM) Ron: good?
(1:41 PM) Kevin: I feel high from eating it
(1:41 PM) Ron: or worthy of being institutionalized
(1:41 PM) Kevin: Like I just smoked a hooter
(1:57 PM) Ron: you got stoned from a f'in pickle?
(1:58 PM) Kevin: Hearing that was so intense to you that it took you 16 minutes to respond
(1:58 PM) Kevin: disrespectful
(1:59 PM) Ron: let's just say that I had other things to do
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Fondling your own gentalia
(1:59 PM) Kevin: or someone else's....?
(1:59 PM) Ron: like eating my own pickle and waiting the results to kick in
(1:41 PM) Ron: good?
(1:41 PM) Kevin: I feel high from eating it
(1:41 PM) Ron: or worthy of being institutionalized
(1:41 PM) Kevin: Like I just smoked a hooter
(1:57 PM) Ron: you got stoned from a f'in pickle?
(1:58 PM) Kevin: Hearing that was so intense to you that it took you 16 minutes to respond
(1:58 PM) Kevin: disrespectful
(1:59 PM) Ron: let's just say that I had other things to do
(1:59 PM) Kevin: Fondling your own gentalia
(1:59 PM) Kevin: or someone else's....?
(1:59 PM) Ron: like eating my own pickle and waiting the results to kick in
Tonto
(3:19 PM) Ron: well - you can't like everything in world
(3:19 PM) Kevin: "In world"
(3:19 PM) Ron: so jump off a bridge onto a pirate ship that's about to get destroyed
(3:20 PM) Kevin: You're like Tonto
(3:20 PM) Ron: there are turntables and a small selection of dance hits on deck
(3:20 PM) Ron: a handful of idiots arrived looking for a party
(3:20 PM) Ron: you can spin some tunes before the ship gets blown up
(3:20 PM) Kevin: "White man cant like everything in world. Trade big wampum for pirate ship made from hollowed out birch tree"
(3:21 PM) Kevin: I just fucked you up
(3:21 PM) Kevin: I saw that
(3:21 PM) Kevin: you needed to turn around and face the wall
(3:21 PM) Ron: India is about to blow your shitty DJ gig out of the water
(3:21 PM) Kevin: like self-imposed punishment
(3:19 PM) Kevin: "In world"
(3:19 PM) Ron: so jump off a bridge onto a pirate ship that's about to get destroyed
(3:20 PM) Kevin: You're like Tonto
(3:20 PM) Ron: there are turntables and a small selection of dance hits on deck
(3:20 PM) Ron: a handful of idiots arrived looking for a party
(3:20 PM) Ron: you can spin some tunes before the ship gets blown up
(3:20 PM) Kevin: "White man cant like everything in world. Trade big wampum for pirate ship made from hollowed out birch tree"
(3:21 PM) Kevin: I just fucked you up
(3:21 PM) Kevin: I saw that
(3:21 PM) Kevin: you needed to turn around and face the wall
(3:21 PM) Ron: India is about to blow your shitty DJ gig out of the water
(3:21 PM) Kevin: like self-imposed punishment
eVite
(3:23 PM) Ron: You just got an eVite to your own funeral
(3:24 PM) Ron: Actually its a party - I'm DJing
(3:24 PM) Ron: should be pretty fun
(3:24 PM) Ron: Actually its a party - I'm DJing
(3:24 PM) Ron: should be pretty fun
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Octave Pedal
(2:19 PM) Ron: what are you doing tonight
(2:19 PM) Kevin: Buying an octave pedal
(2:19 PM) Ron: huh
(2:19 PM) Ron: why
(2:20 PM) Kevin: I like the sounds they make
(2:20 PM) Ron: actually - you don't
(2:20 PM) Kevin: Ok.
(2:20 PM) Kevin: Can we be serious for a minute
(2:20 PM) Kevin: what the fuck is wrong with you
(2:36 PM) Ron: what are you talking about
(2:36 PM) Ron: I am fine
(2:36 PM) Ron: I am great
(2:36 PM) Kevin: Are you?
(2:36 PM) Ron: yep
(2:36 PM) Kevin: Let's look at the evidence
(2:36 PM) Ron: you should stop right now
(2:36 PM) Ron: don't finish your thought
(2:36 PM) Kevin: 1.) I like the way an octave pedal sounds. but you thing that I don't. Even though I just told you that I do.
(2:37 PM) Ron: you will end up at the bottom of a well
(2:37 PM) Kevin: 2.) I handed my water to you so you could refill it, and you didn't
(2:37 PM) Kevin: 3.) You took a dump on the floor in the lounge this morning
(2:37 PM) Ron: 1) whatever
(2:37 PM) Ron: 2) mamma needs to slap you
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 3.) That was disrespectful.
(2:38 PM) Ron: 3) that was because you begged me to
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 4.) Please apologize
(2:38 PM) Ron: 4) I am sorry
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 5) thanks, doucherino
(2:19 PM) Kevin: Buying an octave pedal
(2:19 PM) Ron: huh
(2:19 PM) Ron: why
(2:20 PM) Kevin: I like the sounds they make
(2:20 PM) Ron: actually - you don't
(2:20 PM) Kevin: Ok.
(2:20 PM) Kevin: Can we be serious for a minute
(2:20 PM) Kevin: what the fuck is wrong with you
(2:36 PM) Ron: what are you talking about
(2:36 PM) Ron: I am fine
(2:36 PM) Ron: I am great
(2:36 PM) Kevin: Are you?
(2:36 PM) Ron: yep
(2:36 PM) Kevin: Let's look at the evidence
(2:36 PM) Ron: you should stop right now
(2:36 PM) Ron: don't finish your thought
(2:36 PM) Kevin: 1.) I like the way an octave pedal sounds. but you thing that I don't. Even though I just told you that I do.
(2:37 PM) Ron: you will end up at the bottom of a well
(2:37 PM) Kevin: 2.) I handed my water to you so you could refill it, and you didn't
(2:37 PM) Kevin: 3.) You took a dump on the floor in the lounge this morning
(2:37 PM) Ron: 1) whatever
(2:37 PM) Ron: 2) mamma needs to slap you
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 3.) That was disrespectful.
(2:38 PM) Ron: 3) that was because you begged me to
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 4.) Please apologize
(2:38 PM) Ron: 4) I am sorry
(2:38 PM) Kevin: 5) thanks, doucherino
Chipotle
(12:15 PM) Kevin: If you guys got Chipotle today, I would eat 2 lunches
(12:15 PM) Kevin: no judgements. Just sayin
(12:15 PM) Kevin: no judgements. Just sayin
Rolling Stones
(10:40 AM) Ron: there is this really good band I'd like to hip you to
(10:40 AM) Ron: they are called the Rolling Stones
(10:40 AM) Ron: they are called the Rolling Stones
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Flesh Eaters
(5:24 PM) Kevin: What is this music
(5:24 PM) Ron: Flesh Eaters
(5:24 PM) Kevin: this person's voice is unbelievable
(5:24 PM) Kevin: It's so bad
(5:24 PM) Ron: prob one of my top ten bands
(5:25 PM) Ron: his singing is amazing
(5:25 PM) Kevin: Its like some dude gnarling out of tune
(5:25 PM) Kevin: It sounds like the sounds I make on the toilet
(5:25 PM) Ron: your toilet grunts have not been set to music yet
(5:26 PM) Ron: this band is so good
(5:26 PM) Kevin: This is like the worst music I've ever heard
(5:26 PM) Ron: right now you are being absurd
(5:27 PM) Ron: you need to check yourself
(5:27 PM) Kevin: all I can hear is this warbling off-key obnoxious singer
(5:27 PM) Kevin: dude sounds like he's trying to sing a different song
(5:27 PM) Kevin: "I'm not feeling what the band's playing. I'm gonna sing something else"
(5:27 PM) Ron: which is awesome
(5:27 PM) Ron: its not what he's doing
(5:28 PM) Ron: but alright Chumpsy Critic the Third
(5:28 PM) Kevin: Critic Charlesburg Humpster, esquire
(5:29 PM) Ron: I think this one of the most amazing vocal performances in rock
(5:29 PM) Kevin: Maybe I actually need to stand in front of the speakers and listen.
(5:29 PM) Kevin: It sounds like he's doing a substandard James Chance impression
(5:29 PM) Ron: har
(5:30 PM) Ron: James Chance doesn't have shit on this dude
(5:30 PM) Kevin: I would have to go ahead and disagree with that.
(5:30 PM) Ron: we are in a fight now
(5:30 PM) Ron: we are involved in a fight
(5:30 PM) Kevin: This dude needs to go get some voice lessons from Phil Collins
(5:30 PM) Ron: that comment does not deserve an answer
(5:31 PM) Kevin: That comment deserves an award
(5:31 PM) Ron: I will give you an award - a demitasse cup of sperm
(5:31 PM) Kevin: I'll take it!
(5:24 PM) Ron: Flesh Eaters
(5:24 PM) Kevin: this person's voice is unbelievable
(5:24 PM) Kevin: It's so bad
(5:24 PM) Ron: prob one of my top ten bands
(5:25 PM) Ron: his singing is amazing
(5:25 PM) Kevin: Its like some dude gnarling out of tune
(5:25 PM) Kevin: It sounds like the sounds I make on the toilet
(5:25 PM) Ron: your toilet grunts have not been set to music yet
(5:26 PM) Ron: this band is so good
(5:26 PM) Kevin: This is like the worst music I've ever heard
(5:26 PM) Ron: right now you are being absurd
(5:27 PM) Ron: you need to check yourself
(5:27 PM) Kevin: all I can hear is this warbling off-key obnoxious singer
(5:27 PM) Kevin: dude sounds like he's trying to sing a different song
(5:27 PM) Kevin: "I'm not feeling what the band's playing. I'm gonna sing something else"
(5:27 PM) Ron: which is awesome
(5:27 PM) Ron: its not what he's doing
(5:28 PM) Ron: but alright Chumpsy Critic the Third
(5:28 PM) Kevin: Critic Charlesburg Humpster, esquire
(5:29 PM) Ron: I think this one of the most amazing vocal performances in rock
(5:29 PM) Kevin: Maybe I actually need to stand in front of the speakers and listen.
(5:29 PM) Kevin: It sounds like he's doing a substandard James Chance impression
(5:29 PM) Ron: har
(5:30 PM) Ron: James Chance doesn't have shit on this dude
(5:30 PM) Kevin: I would have to go ahead and disagree with that.
(5:30 PM) Ron: we are in a fight now
(5:30 PM) Ron: we are involved in a fight
(5:30 PM) Kevin: This dude needs to go get some voice lessons from Phil Collins
(5:30 PM) Ron: that comment does not deserve an answer
(5:31 PM) Kevin: That comment deserves an award
(5:31 PM) Ron: I will give you an award - a demitasse cup of sperm
(5:31 PM) Kevin: I'll take it!
Chris Ware Dude
(2:44 PM) Ron: you are a chris ware dude right
(2:45 PM) Kevin: I mean, I dont know if I'd call myself a "chris ware dude"
(2:45 PM) Kevin: I like his stuff. I haven't read anything after the Jimmy Corrigan Saga, really
(2:46 PM) Ron: ok - "you are nothing if not a person who is obsessed to the point of absurdity with the art, life and influence of Chris Ware, comic book writer, Dad and thinker"
(2:47 PM) Kevin: what?
(2:48 PM) Ron: "when you get up in the morning it is with great difficulty that you perform the mundane activities of your day because your every fiber is focused on Chris Ware and everything that this name encompasses"
(2:48 PM) Kevin: Oh. I get it.
(2:48 PM) Kevin: You're making a "joke"
(2:49 PM) Kevin: and I find it "hilarious"
(2:45 PM) Kevin: I mean, I dont know if I'd call myself a "chris ware dude"
(2:45 PM) Kevin: I like his stuff. I haven't read anything after the Jimmy Corrigan Saga, really
(2:46 PM) Ron: ok - "you are nothing if not a person who is obsessed to the point of absurdity with the art, life and influence of Chris Ware, comic book writer, Dad and thinker"
(2:47 PM) Kevin: what?
(2:48 PM) Ron: "when you get up in the morning it is with great difficulty that you perform the mundane activities of your day because your every fiber is focused on Chris Ware and everything that this name encompasses"
(2:48 PM) Kevin: Oh. I get it.
(2:48 PM) Kevin: You're making a "joke"
(2:49 PM) Kevin: and I find it "hilarious"
Romance and Rage
(12:32 PM) Kevin: Well, this morning when I came into the office you came up behind me, put your arms around me and rested your chin on my shoulder, whispering gently into my ear "My loins burn for you." Or maybe it was "My loins burn from you". . . either way...
(12:33 PM) Ron: I'm not sure what electric shaver you used this morning. . .but you need to take a raincheck on your thoughts right now
(12:34 PM) Kevin: "You need to tell your brain to call back in a few hours"
(12:33 PM) Ron: I'm not sure what electric shaver you used this morning. . .but you need to take a raincheck on your thoughts right now
(12:34 PM) Kevin: "You need to tell your brain to call back in a few hours"
Diablo Cody
(5:49 PM) Kevin: I dont like to admit it
(5:49 PM) Kevin: but it needs to be said
(5:50 PM) Kevin: I have a boner for Diablo Cody
(5:50 PM) Kevin: deal with it
(5:51 PM) Ron: she looks good
(5:51 PM) Ron: I didn't know who the F she was
(5:53 PM) Ron: maybe she will be my wife someday
(5:53 PM) Kevin: I don’t think so.
(5:53 PM) Ron: why
(5:54 PM) Ron: i'm a big time catch
(5:54 PM) Kevin: You carry the nascent odor of feces.
(5:54 PM) Kevin: sorry to be the one to break it to you.
(5:54 PM) Kevin: but that's life.
(5:55 PM) Ron: she might be into that
(5:49 PM) Kevin: but it needs to be said
(5:50 PM) Kevin: I have a boner for Diablo Cody
(5:50 PM) Kevin: deal with it
(5:51 PM) Ron: she looks good
(5:51 PM) Ron: I didn't know who the F she was
(5:53 PM) Ron: maybe she will be my wife someday
(5:53 PM) Kevin: I don’t think so.
(5:53 PM) Ron: why
(5:54 PM) Ron: i'm a big time catch
(5:54 PM) Kevin: You carry the nascent odor of feces.
(5:54 PM) Kevin: sorry to be the one to break it to you.
(5:54 PM) Kevin: but that's life.
(5:55 PM) Ron: she might be into that
Psalms
(1:48 PM) Ron: you know what I was reading this morning which was blowing my mind? Pslams
(1:48 PM) Kevin: What is that
(1:49 PM) Ron: Its a book in the Old Testament
(1:49 PM) Ron: Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.
(1:49 PM) Ron: its really strange
(1:49 PM) Kevin: Psalms is a book in the old test. Pslams are what I do to you with my johnson
(1:49 PM) Ron: you are off base
(1:49 PM) Kevin: But not incorrect
(1:50 PM) Ron: that's more like Revelations
(1:48 PM) Kevin: What is that
(1:49 PM) Ron: Its a book in the Old Testament
(1:49 PM) Ron: Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.
(1:49 PM) Ron: its really strange
(1:49 PM) Kevin: Psalms is a book in the old test. Pslams are what I do to you with my johnson
(1:49 PM) Ron: you are off base
(1:49 PM) Kevin: But not incorrect
(1:50 PM) Ron: that's more like Revelations
Spam Email Subject Lines
(9:58 AM) Ron: "Don't settle for less than 9 inches"
(9:58 AM) Kevin: I never have, never will
(9:59 AM) Ron: "Don't settle for less than 9 inches." - Mom
(10:00 AM) Kevin: That's so fucked up
(10:00 AM) Kevin: It's like reliving my childhood
(10:00 AM) Ron: she was very hard on you
(10:00 AM) Kevin: She was very hard in me
(10:01 AM) Ron: fucked
(9:58 AM) Kevin: I never have, never will
(9:59 AM) Ron: "Don't settle for less than 9 inches." - Mom
(10:00 AM) Kevin: That's so fucked up
(10:00 AM) Kevin: It's like reliving my childhood
(10:00 AM) Ron: she was very hard on you
(10:00 AM) Kevin: She was very hard in me
(10:01 AM) Ron: fucked
Adaptation
(12:13 PM) Kevin: I watched Adaptation the other night
(12:13 PM) Kevin: That movie was really good
(12:13 PM) Ron: yeah?
(12:13 PM) Kevin: I could watch Nicholas Cage schlub around with his twin brother for days and weeks and months
(12:14 PM) Ron: I remember seeing it in the theater that's about it
(12:14 PM) Ron: I don't even remember that
(12:14 PM) Kevin: The movie stars Nicholas Cage as 2 characters
(12:14 PM) Kevin: Charlie and Donald Kaufman
(12:14 PM) Ron: I HATE when actors do that
(12:14 PM) Ron: fucking hate it
(12:14 PM) Kevin: why
(12:14 PM) Ron: its an excuse for an actor to jack off in my face
(12:15 PM) Kevin: well, I mean, that's how Kaufman wrote it
(12:15 PM) Ron: so what
(12:15 PM) Kevin: It's purposeful
(12:15 PM) Ron: mad at the world
(12:15 PM) Kevin: Look, I haven't told you yet
(12:15 PM) Kevin: because I didnt want you to get upset
(12:15 PM) Kevin: but you have emotional problems
(12:16 PM) Ron: the conceit of twins being played by the same person is the most asinine of all cinema "innovations"
(12:16 PM) Ron: its goddamn boring
(12:16 PM) Kevin: It's not supposed to be an innovation, you dickblaster. It's supposed to be making fun of that cliche. It's self-aware
(12:16 PM) Ron: hating you
(12:16 PM) Ron: right now
(12:16 PM) Kevin: Massaging every part of your body as punishment
(12:13 PM) Kevin: That movie was really good
(12:13 PM) Ron: yeah?
(12:13 PM) Kevin: I could watch Nicholas Cage schlub around with his twin brother for days and weeks and months
(12:14 PM) Ron: I remember seeing it in the theater that's about it
(12:14 PM) Ron: I don't even remember that
(12:14 PM) Kevin: The movie stars Nicholas Cage as 2 characters
(12:14 PM) Kevin: Charlie and Donald Kaufman
(12:14 PM) Ron: I HATE when actors do that
(12:14 PM) Ron: fucking hate it
(12:14 PM) Kevin: why
(12:14 PM) Ron: its an excuse for an actor to jack off in my face
(12:15 PM) Kevin: well, I mean, that's how Kaufman wrote it
(12:15 PM) Ron: so what
(12:15 PM) Kevin: It's purposeful
(12:15 PM) Ron: mad at the world
(12:15 PM) Kevin: Look, I haven't told you yet
(12:15 PM) Kevin: because I didnt want you to get upset
(12:15 PM) Kevin: but you have emotional problems
(12:16 PM) Ron: the conceit of twins being played by the same person is the most asinine of all cinema "innovations"
(12:16 PM) Ron: its goddamn boring
(12:16 PM) Kevin: It's not supposed to be an innovation, you dickblaster. It's supposed to be making fun of that cliche. It's self-aware
(12:16 PM) Ron: hating you
(12:16 PM) Ron: right now
(12:16 PM) Kevin: Massaging every part of your body as punishment
Photograph From the Internet
(10:30 AM) Ron: who is that
(10:30 AM) Kevin: Ya got me
(10:30 AM) Kevin: Check out the guns on the table
(10:30 AM) Kevin: A gun and a grenade
(10:30 AM) Kevin: That's my dad.
(10:30 AM) Kevin: The little girl is me before the operation
(10:30 AM) Ron: that's you in the dress
(10:31 AM) Kevin: We're on some shared brain shit
(10:31 AM) Ron: yeah
Mojo Cut and Paste
(1:58 PM) Ron: how do you feel about the concept of "mojo"
(1:58 PM) Ron: has it been ruined?
(1:59 PM) Ron: Mojo (pronounced /ˈmoʊdʒoʊ/) is a term commonly encountered in the African-American folk belief called hoodoo. A mojo is a type of magic charm, often of red flannel cloth and tied with a drawstring, containing botanical, zoological, and/or mineral curios, petition papers, and the like. It is typically worn under clothing.
(1:59 PM) Kevin: I never think about Mojo
(2:00 PM) Ron: http://www.luckymojo.com/mojo.html
(2:00 PM) Ron: you better start
(2:01 PM) Ron: Nation sack
(2:02 PM) Ron: http://www.luckymojo.com/bodyfluids.html
(2:04 PM) Ron: In the African-American hoodoo tradition, as well as in Sicilian folk-magic, menstrual blood served to a man in his coffee or tea is a sovereign recipe for capturing his sexual attention. No ritual, prayer, or invocation is necessary; you simply add some menstrual blood to the man's coffee or tea.
(2:04 PM) Kevin: News Flash : Not feeling this line of conversation
(2:04 PM) Kevin: Too heavily related to bodily fluids
(2:04 PM) Ron: I'm lovin' it!
(2:04 PM) Kevin: McDonalds
(2:04 PM) Ron: its amazing actually
(2:05 PM) Ron: if you will simply let me cut and paste some more text into this window you will see what I mean
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Its just making me thing of the Load Album Cover. All cum and piss and blood and shit
(2:05 PM) Ron: Or you can run scared into your momma's skirts
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Also making me think of our relationship
(2:05 PM) Kevin: and how we could develop
(2:05 PM) Kevin: as men
(2:05 PM) Kevin: together
(2:05 PM) Ron: boys becoming men by anothers' hand
(2:06 PM) Kevin: Boyz II Men
(2:06 PM) Ron: I have done this often, with uniformly good results. I have directly fed gobbets of menstruum to my lover, from my fingers, as one might feed a pet. This was done to bind him, but to avoid the sneakiness of slipping it into his drinks -- i want him to KNOW how much i want him to be mine, and to know that i am working the spell on him right out in the open. (As the old slogan for the Steak-and-Shake drive-in chain reads: "In sight -- it must be right!")
(2:07 PM) Kevin: What the fuck!
(2:07 PM) Kevin: Why dont you just relax with this shit
(2:16 PM) Ron: No matter what you call it, one of the oldest root work traditions is for a male gambler to have a female lover urinate on his mojo bag or lucky hand while he is at play.
(2:16 PM) Kevin: It just keeps getting more and more insane
(2:17 PM) Kevin: So do you think the phrase "That's not my bag" comes from a mojo bag?
(2:17 PM) Ron: the polite word for urine is "chamber lye"
(2:17 PM) Kevin: My mojo bag is your nut sack.
(2:17 PM) Ron: so I'm about to pour some chamber lye onto your mojo hand so you can win at online poker
(2:17 PM) Kevin: Did that blow your mind?
(2:19 PM) Ron: I think my approach to your internet gambling is more intense
(2:20 PM) Kevin: I'm willing to give it a shot if it wins me some money
(2:20 PM) Ron: lend me your hand
(1:58 PM) Ron: has it been ruined?
(1:59 PM) Ron: Mojo (pronounced /ˈmoʊdʒoʊ/) is a term commonly encountered in the African-American folk belief called hoodoo. A mojo is a type of magic charm, often of red flannel cloth and tied with a drawstring, containing botanical, zoological, and/or mineral curios, petition papers, and the like. It is typically worn under clothing.
(1:59 PM) Kevin: I never think about Mojo
(2:00 PM) Ron: http://www.luckymojo.com/mojo.html
(2:00 PM) Ron: you better start
(2:01 PM) Ron: Nation sack
(2:02 PM) Ron: http://www.luckymojo.com/bodyfluids.html
(2:04 PM) Ron: In the African-American hoodoo tradition, as well as in Sicilian folk-magic, menstrual blood served to a man in his coffee or tea is a sovereign recipe for capturing his sexual attention. No ritual, prayer, or invocation is necessary; you simply add some menstrual blood to the man's coffee or tea.
(2:04 PM) Kevin: News Flash : Not feeling this line of conversation
(2:04 PM) Kevin: Too heavily related to bodily fluids
(2:04 PM) Ron: I'm lovin' it!
(2:04 PM) Kevin: McDonalds
(2:04 PM) Ron: its amazing actually
(2:05 PM) Ron: if you will simply let me cut and paste some more text into this window you will see what I mean
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Its just making me thing of the Load Album Cover. All cum and piss and blood and shit
(2:05 PM) Ron: Or you can run scared into your momma's skirts
(2:05 PM) Kevin: Also making me think of our relationship
(2:05 PM) Kevin: and how we could develop
(2:05 PM) Kevin: as men
(2:05 PM) Kevin: together
(2:05 PM) Ron: boys becoming men by anothers' hand
(2:06 PM) Kevin: Boyz II Men
(2:06 PM) Ron: I have done this often, with uniformly good results. I have directly fed gobbets of menstruum to my lover, from my fingers, as one might feed a pet. This was done to bind him, but to avoid the sneakiness of slipping it into his drinks -- i want him to KNOW how much i want him to be mine, and to know that i am working the spell on him right out in the open. (As the old slogan for the Steak-and-Shake drive-in chain reads: "In sight -- it must be right!")
(2:07 PM) Kevin: What the fuck!
(2:07 PM) Kevin: Why dont you just relax with this shit
(2:16 PM) Ron: No matter what you call it, one of the oldest root work traditions is for a male gambler to have a female lover urinate on his mojo bag or lucky hand while he is at play.
(2:16 PM) Kevin: It just keeps getting more and more insane
(2:17 PM) Kevin: So do you think the phrase "That's not my bag" comes from a mojo bag?
(2:17 PM) Ron: the polite word for urine is "chamber lye"
(2:17 PM) Kevin: My mojo bag is your nut sack.
(2:17 PM) Ron: so I'm about to pour some chamber lye onto your mojo hand so you can win at online poker
(2:17 PM) Kevin: Did that blow your mind?
(2:19 PM) Ron: I think my approach to your internet gambling is more intense
(2:20 PM) Kevin: I'm willing to give it a shot if it wins me some money
(2:20 PM) Ron: lend me your hand
Bar Time
(11:21 AM) Ron: what are you doing tonight
(11:22 AM) Kevin: Going 2 the bar with Allan and Dave
(11:22 AM) Kevin: wanna cum
(11:22 AM) Kevin: (on my lips and eyes)
(11:22 AM) Kevin: Going 2 the bar with Allan and Dave
(11:22 AM) Kevin: wanna cum
(11:22 AM) Kevin: (on my lips and eyes)
Kokomo + Origin Story
(5:11 PM) Ron: Kokomo is the name of a Tiki-style poolside bar within the Holiday Isle resort complex in Islamorada, in the Florida Keys.
(5:12 PM) Kevin: Kokomo is the fucking worst shit
(5:12 PM) Ron: The "Kokomo" single backed with "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard was first released through Elektra Records in July 1988.
(5:12 PM) Kevin: Beach Boys' biggest seller
(5:13 PM) Ron: In 2006, Beach Boys member Mike Love recorded a critically panned Christmas remake of the song, titled "Santa's Going To Kokomo".
(5:13 PM) Kevin: GOD FUCK MIKE LOVE
(5:13 PM) Kevin: Fuck his BUTTERY WILLING ASS
(5:13 PM) Kevin: This shit is consistently TOO fucking much
(5:14 PM) Kevin: can you imagine if, somewhere in the ether, there was just a chat log of us...going nuts again and again
(5:14 PM) Ron: yeah - that a bunch of people read every day
(5:14 PM) Ron: we should start a blog of our chats
(5:15 PM) Ron: I don't think anyone does that
(5:12 PM) Kevin: Kokomo is the fucking worst shit
(5:12 PM) Ron: The "Kokomo" single backed with "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard was first released through Elektra Records in July 1988.
(5:12 PM) Kevin: Beach Boys' biggest seller
(5:13 PM) Ron: In 2006, Beach Boys member Mike Love recorded a critically panned Christmas remake of the song, titled "Santa's Going To Kokomo".
(5:13 PM) Kevin: GOD FUCK MIKE LOVE
(5:13 PM) Kevin: Fuck his BUTTERY WILLING ASS
(5:13 PM) Kevin: This shit is consistently TOO fucking much
(5:14 PM) Kevin: can you imagine if, somewhere in the ether, there was just a chat log of us...going nuts again and again
(5:14 PM) Ron: yeah - that a bunch of people read every day
(5:14 PM) Ron: we should start a blog of our chats
(5:15 PM) Ron: I don't think anyone does that
Ramen
(4:59 PM) Ron: I am getting obsessed with Ramen
(4:59 PM) Kevin: Gross
(4:59 PM) Ron: I'm trying different places around the city
(4:59 PM) Kevin: That shit is so nasty
(4:59 PM) Ron: not the stuff you get in a bag
(5:00 PM) Ron: the stuff we ate that you loved at Rai Rai Ken
(5:00 PM) Ron: don't be a dick
(5:04 PM) Ron: so you're just going to end the discussion there? you think its gross - even though you "loved" it?
(5:04 PM) Ron: super angry right now
(5:04 PM) Kevin: I LOVED IT
(5:04 PM) Kevin: I just dont like the packaged crap
(5:04 PM) Ron: no shit sherlock
(5:05 PM) Ron: noodle bars
(5:06 PM) Kevin: Noodledick
(5:07 PM) Ron: so fucking mad at you
(5:08 PM) Kevin: Doodlenick
(5:08 PM) Ron: imagine your brain
(5:08 PM) Ron: you have the image?
(5:08 PM) Kevin: You know what I always say
(5:08 PM) Kevin: "Do what you feel"
(5:08 PM) Ron: now imagine your brain getting crushed by a turntable falling out of a window
(5:09 PM) Ron: I am DJing on those turntables
(5:09 PM) Ron: playing Magical Mystery Tour
(5:09 PM) Ron: and laughin
(5:09 PM) Ron: Bob is looking out the window from which I jumped
(5:09 PM) Kevin: I'm playing the fifth Chicago LP and simultaneously shitting and crying
(5:10 PM) Ron: and asking me to play "Gimme Shelter" next
(5:10 PM) Kevin: Dude, put on some police
(5:10 PM) Kevin: Skip is whipping Spinal tap records at you from the 8th floor
(5:11 PM) Ron: there are SO MANY lyrics to the Beach Boys Kokomo - did you know that?
(5:11 PM) Kevin: and Carl is shitting out chewed up bits his "I can Hear the Heart Beating as One" CD/LP/Cassette
(4:59 PM) Kevin: Gross
(4:59 PM) Ron: I'm trying different places around the city
(4:59 PM) Kevin: That shit is so nasty
(4:59 PM) Ron: not the stuff you get in a bag
(5:00 PM) Ron: the stuff we ate that you loved at Rai Rai Ken
(5:00 PM) Ron: don't be a dick
(5:04 PM) Ron: so you're just going to end the discussion there? you think its gross - even though you "loved" it?
(5:04 PM) Ron: super angry right now
(5:04 PM) Kevin: I LOVED IT
(5:04 PM) Kevin: I just dont like the packaged crap
(5:04 PM) Ron: no shit sherlock
(5:05 PM) Ron: noodle bars
(5:06 PM) Kevin: Noodledick
(5:07 PM) Ron: so fucking mad at you
(5:08 PM) Kevin: Doodlenick
(5:08 PM) Ron: imagine your brain
(5:08 PM) Ron: you have the image?
(5:08 PM) Kevin: You know what I always say
(5:08 PM) Kevin: "Do what you feel"
(5:08 PM) Ron: now imagine your brain getting crushed by a turntable falling out of a window
(5:09 PM) Ron: I am DJing on those turntables
(5:09 PM) Ron: playing Magical Mystery Tour
(5:09 PM) Ron: and laughin
(5:09 PM) Ron: Bob is looking out the window from which I jumped
(5:09 PM) Kevin: I'm playing the fifth Chicago LP and simultaneously shitting and crying
(5:10 PM) Ron: and asking me to play "Gimme Shelter" next
(5:10 PM) Kevin: Dude, put on some police
(5:10 PM) Kevin: Skip is whipping Spinal tap records at you from the 8th floor
(5:11 PM) Ron: there are SO MANY lyrics to the Beach Boys Kokomo - did you know that?
(5:11 PM) Kevin: and Carl is shitting out chewed up bits his "I can Hear the Heart Beating as One" CD/LP/Cassette
Bumbo the Wild Man
(4:03 PM) Kevin: I wonder if there are pictures of Bumbo the Wild Man
(4:04 PM) Ron: eat 'em up
(4:05 PM) Ron: the wild man from borneo just makes me laugh
(4:05 PM) Ron: thinking about it
(4:05 PM) Kevin: Me too
(4:06 PM) Kevin: http://w.ick.ca/22764
(4:06 PM) Ron: that is so damn racist and absurd
(4:45 PM) Kevin: Bumbo the Wild Man
(4:46 PM) Ron: that's me!
(4:04 PM) Ron: eat 'em up
(4:05 PM) Ron: the wild man from borneo just makes me laugh
(4:05 PM) Ron: thinking about it
(4:05 PM) Kevin: Me too
(4:06 PM) Kevin: http://w.ick.ca/22764
(4:06 PM) Ron: that is so damn racist and absurd
(4:45 PM) Kevin: Bumbo the Wild Man
(4:46 PM) Ron: that's me!
Judas Priest
(3:50 PM) Ron: how much have you read about the Judas Priest suicide trial?
(3:50 PM) Kevin: Very little
(3:50 PM) Kevin: I read about that Negativland shit though
(3:51 PM) Ron: you mean the fair use stuff? The letter U and the numeral 2?
(3:51 PM) Kevin: Naw
(3:53 PM) Kevin: A number of releases followed in the early 1980s, but it wasn't until after the release of their breakthrough sample and cut-up sonic barrage Escape from Noise in 1987 that Negativland gained wider attention. Vinyl copies of the album came with "CAR BOMB" bumper stickers, in reference to the album's song "Car Bomb".
Following the somewhat unexpected success of this album, Negativland faced the prospect of going on a money-losing tour. To prevent this, they put together a phony press release. It claimed that the acts of an axe murderer named David Brom had actually been incited by their song "Christianity Is Stupid." The song contained samples deriding Christianity taken from the pro-Christianity film, If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?.
The story ran on TV news shows, newspapers, and magazines, with little to no fact-checking.[citation needed] Soon the world was informed of the "Killer Song" that caused a kid to murder his parents with an ax.
The scandal became the foundation for their next release, Helter Stupid, which featured a cover photo of TV news "journalist" Hal Eisner intoning the ax murder story, with the news station's caption "Killer Song" above his head, and a photo of the ax murderer.
(3:55 PM) Ron: hehe
(3:56 PM) Ron: I guess I have heard that
(3:56 PM) Ron: there was a double suicide related to listening to Stained Class
(3:56 PM) Ron: it is a really weird story
(3:57 PM) Ron: basically one of the dudes bought the other guy the album
(3:57 PM) Ron: and they listened to it for like 24 hours
(3:57 PM) Ron: drank a lot, smoked a lot of pot and then decided to kill themselves
(3:57 PM) Kevin: I remember when we did that shit
(3:58 PM) Ron: they brought a shotgun out to a field, one of them managed to kill himself and
the other turned his head at the last minute and shot off his jaw
(3:58 PM) Ron: but lived
(3:58 PM) Kevin: intense
(3:58 PM) Ron: yeah - seriously messed up
(3:58 PM) Ron: sad stuff
(3:58 PM) Ron: anyway - the parents sued CBS
(3:58 PM) Ron: and there was a big trial
(4:03 PM) Kevin: I wonder if there are pictures of the dude missing a jaw
(4:03 PM) Ron: you do NOT want to see that
(3:50 PM) Kevin: Very little
(3:50 PM) Kevin: I read about that Negativland shit though
(3:51 PM) Ron: you mean the fair use stuff? The letter U and the numeral 2?
(3:51 PM) Kevin: Naw
(3:53 PM) Kevin: A number of releases followed in the early 1980s, but it wasn't until after the release of their breakthrough sample and cut-up sonic barrage Escape from Noise in 1987 that Negativland gained wider attention. Vinyl copies of the album came with "CAR BOMB" bumper stickers, in reference to the album's song "Car Bomb".
Following the somewhat unexpected success of this album, Negativland faced the prospect of going on a money-losing tour. To prevent this, they put together a phony press release. It claimed that the acts of an axe murderer named David Brom had actually been incited by their song "Christianity Is Stupid." The song contained samples deriding Christianity taken from the pro-Christianity film, If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?.
The story ran on TV news shows, newspapers, and magazines, with little to no fact-checking.[citation needed] Soon the world was informed of the "Killer Song" that caused a kid to murder his parents with an ax.
The scandal became the foundation for their next release, Helter Stupid, which featured a cover photo of TV news "journalist" Hal Eisner intoning the ax murder story, with the news station's caption "Killer Song" above his head, and a photo of the ax murderer.
(3:55 PM) Ron: hehe
(3:56 PM) Ron: I guess I have heard that
(3:56 PM) Ron: there was a double suicide related to listening to Stained Class
(3:56 PM) Ron: it is a really weird story
(3:57 PM) Ron: basically one of the dudes bought the other guy the album
(3:57 PM) Ron: and they listened to it for like 24 hours
(3:57 PM) Ron: drank a lot, smoked a lot of pot and then decided to kill themselves
(3:57 PM) Kevin: I remember when we did that shit
(3:58 PM) Ron: they brought a shotgun out to a field, one of them managed to kill himself and
the other turned his head at the last minute and shot off his jaw
(3:58 PM) Ron: but lived
(3:58 PM) Kevin: intense
(3:58 PM) Ron: yeah - seriously messed up
(3:58 PM) Ron: sad stuff
(3:58 PM) Ron: anyway - the parents sued CBS
(3:58 PM) Ron: and there was a big trial
(4:03 PM) Kevin: I wonder if there are pictures of the dude missing a jaw
(4:03 PM) Ron: you do NOT want to see that
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