The Perfected Asshole

(3:49 PM) Ron: how is it that you are the biggest a hole in the world? how is that possible?
(3:50 PM) Kevin: Well...I haven't really been at liberty to discuss this...
(3:50 PM) Kevin: but...
(3:50 PM) Kevin: I am the product of a genetic experiment
(3:50 PM) Kevin: I was created in a lab
(3:50 PM) Kevin: ahole industries and textiles
(3:50 PM) Kevin: they were trying to perfect assholism
(3:50 PM) Kevin: but I was too powerful and I escaped
(3:50 PM) Kevin: I lived in the wild for 4 years
(3:51 PM) Kevin: living on the feces of bears and the tears of abducted children
(3:52 PM) Ron: get me some water now
(3:52 PM) Kevin: Sorry. I am the perfected asshole. I ain't gettin you shit